it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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