i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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