WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
