he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
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