Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
