Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
