I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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