I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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