I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
