i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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