Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
