i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
