she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
