im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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