I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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