All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize