I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
