hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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