Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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