she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
