I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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