So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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