Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so let's talk penis.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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