I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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