So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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