I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
