Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
