How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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