oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
50% drunk capacity currently
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
