OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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