You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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