I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
