What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize