i would punch a child for taco bell
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
