Pants 0. Shit 1.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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