I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
