Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
