ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
