Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
