i permit you to call me
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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