you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
