11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
