You can't motorboat a personality
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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