i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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