Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
