Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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