Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
