You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
