I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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