Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
