My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
