road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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