yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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