Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
