making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
