I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
