it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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