But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
