Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
