Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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