party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
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